Sunday, December 31, 2006

me... counting down...

Hey.. hey.. hey.. 1st of all i'd like to say Happy Ied Adha to you.. Today my whole family gathered at my grand parents' house celebrating the big day.. I ate a lot of lamb.. huhuhu.. Lamb is definetely my fav kinda meat.. Molto delicioso!!! =p

And tonight.. Tonight is New Year's Eve.. Hmmm..I can't believe 2006 is almost over.. There are LOTS of things happened to me this year.. Not only the good ones, but also the terrible ones.. hehehe.. To be honest, this year's been pretty tough for me.. But I'm thankful for everything that happened to me this year.. I believe everything's happened for a reason.. And this "tough year"of mine has made me a stronger..and (hopefully) a better person... =)

Before this year is really over.. I guess I can think back a little while and just answer these questions I've got from FS Bulletin Board.. Just a little self reflection.. ^_^

1) Was 2006 a good year for you?
hmm.. not my favorite year so far..

2) What was your favorite moment of
the year?
my 2 months in middle of nowhere called Sembawa for KKN credits

3) What was your worst moment
hmmm.. that one night (ironically) in the holly month..

4) Where were you when 2006 began?
somewhere around jakarta

5) Who were you with?

6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?
somewhere around jakarta =p

7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
them!!! lucky me.. ;)

8) Did you keep your new years
resolution of 2006?
didn't even have new year resolutions

9) Do you have a new years resolution
for 2007?
hmm.. graduate with good grade.. amin..

10) Did you breakup with anyone in
i did

11) Did you make any new friends in
sure.. lots of new friends.. *grinch*

12) Who are your favorite new friends?
them.. my "second family" for the unforgettable two months

13) What was your favorite month of
mmm..december i guess..

14) Did you travel outside the country
in 2006? Where?
once.. only to that teeny tiny island over the sea..

15) How many different country did you
travel to in 2006?
look above..

16) Did you lose anybody close to you
in 2006?

17) Did you miss anybody in the past
yea.. lotta people i guess..

18) What was your favorite movie that
you saw in 2006?
whoa.. i can barely remember.. i saw tons of them..

19) What was your favorite songs from
mmmm... another hard question.. there are many.. but i can only think of "again & again - Jewel" for now..

20) What was your favorite memory from
2006? survival from that terrible 'thing'.. ;)

21) How many concerts did you see in

22) Did you have a favorite concert in
yup.. oka.. oka.. oka..

23) Did you drink a lot of alchohol in

24) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?
what kinda drugs? i used some pain killers and some other medication.. hehehe

25) How many people did you kiss in
2006? can I tell? =p

26) Did you do anything you are
ashamed of this year?
kinda.. hehehe.. there was one thing i did that i'm very much ashamed of.. but i'd rather not mention it here.. hehehehe...

Well.. I gotta go now.. I do hope your New Year's Eve is going to be some kinda night to remember... Goodbye 2006!!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

me... being girl.. o^_^o

Here I am.. posting again.. huhuhuh.. I know I've been pretty moody with this blog thingy.. Anyway, I'm home now.. Just got back from bandung half an hour ago..

Yesterday I went to nangor to do my media research assignment which has to be collected this morning.. I spent very long and depressing hours doing that damn assignment I almost cried out loud.. I was so happy when I finally finished it..

After that.. eventhough I was exhausted, yet I still couldn't manage myself to get into bed.. So I reached my cell phone and called Uty.. We chatted for over an hour.. After I hung up with uty.. I tried to call Shinta.. But she didn't pick up.. I guessed she'd been asleep.. But then she called me.. She said she'd fallen asleep but my call woke her up.. And then the whole "girls talk" ritual started again.. I looked at the clock when I finally hung up the phone.. It was almost 2 in the morning! hehehehe.. I spent hours talking on the phone with them but sure it didn't feel that long at all..

Talking with my girls is nothing but fun.. fun.. fun.. We tell each other everything.. We share stories..gossips..anything.. We laugh.. sometimes hysterically.. hehehe.. It's always been fun.. I haven't spent much time with my girls lately.. So at least I try to catch up by phone.. Hopefully after final exam, few weeks from now, we can manage some time to hang out together.. I kinda miss them..

Especially for Diyan, Shinta, Uty, Uwhie, Tiwi, and Ita.. If you read this post, babes.. I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time together with you all.. It's sad we can't celebrate new year together as we planned before.. Anyway, hope you all have a very happy new year.. Love you..

Hmm.. I guess that's all for now.. I'll post again soon.. Hopefully before this year really ends.. Ciao!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

me... being such an ass..

i hurt someone today..

i hurt him..

i hurt someone who's been nothing but a great companion..

i hurt him.. simply because i don't want to hurt him more..

for your eyes only.. *) if you read this post.. i know that my apologize will never be enough..

however, i'm truly sorry for all the pain i've caused you..

and also.. sorry for blaming you for all the things i just couldn't do..

you've done nothing wrong but letting me hurt you this bad..

i'm such a big ass..

*) yeah, it's for you, ndi... :'(

Saturday, December 16, 2006

me.. and my super fantastic mom...

Today is my mom's birthday and i'm dedicating this post for her..

My mom was born in Jakarta 47 years ago.. She married my dad on July 1984 and had me, her 1st child, a year after.. I can really say that my mom is a super cool mom.. She's been more like a best friend to me.. We tell each other everything.. Sometimes we fight, but we always make up.. My mom can be very childish at one time, and very wise at the other time..

I can never imagine any other mom would ask her daughter to skip classes so they could go shopping together, for example.. My mom does those kinda things sometimes.. That doesn't make her an irresponsible mom whatsoever.. It makes her fun.. and makes my friends envy me.. hehehehe..

My mom's taught me so many things about life and showed me how to be tough no matter how hard it's treating me.. She's simply my idol..

There are lotta other things that i'm so proud about my mom.. No words are gonna be enough to describe her.. My Mom is absolutely the figure of a mother i wish to be someday.. It's very amazing to have her as my mother.. I can never thank God enough for that, just as i can never tell her enough how much i love her..


Friday, December 15, 2006

me.. talking about my baby..

I'm so excited that i'm gonna spend this weekend in Jakarta.. I miss everything back home.. I guess it's a good thing to come home for a while in the middle of my hectic schedules, hope it'll recharge my spirit.. hehehe..

One of the things I hate from living away from home is that I can't be around my baby.. Yea, I've had a baby.. hehehe.. Her name is Nonie.. She's my beloved grey-white angora cat.. I’ve had her since she was a 3 month-old kitten.. She’s a big girl now, 5 years old on last November 16, although sometimes she acts as if she were a kitten… Well, she’s more than just a cat to me, she’s my bestfriend, she’s my baby, she’s definitely a part of my family… So sad I couldn’t be home celebrating her birthday last month.. So this post is dedicated for my Nonie…

Nonie Loves:
Cheese (can’t get enough of it)
Any kind of meat
Any kind of fish (as long as it’s not salted)
Ice Cream (especially chocolate and vanilla)
KFC (even just the smell drives her crazy)
Iced tea (odd cat…huhuhu)
Drinking from the sink
Scratching couches (makes my mom pissed)
Being spoiled
Sitting on the roof at night (seducing my neighbour’s cat..hehe)
Being scratched on her neck
Hiding in closet, cabinet, cupboard, anything with doors.. beloved Nonie...

Nonie Hates:
Being yelled at (believe it or not, she usually yells back..)
Spicy foods
Umbrella (dunno why)
Little kids (she hides from them everytime)
Being alone
Big rats (actually, she’s embarassingly afraid of them.. hehehe)
Riding in car
Her vitamins

I guess that's all for now about my Nonie.. more post about her in the future.. MIAOW..

Sunday, December 10, 2006

me.. denying...

Aku dan Bayangan

Mengapa harus terucap sebuah tanya
Saat kau tahu kelu yang terasa
Dalam malam yang menemani
Perjumpaanku dengan sebentuk bayangan

Bukankah tawaku telah menjadikannya nyata
Dan air mataku telah membentuk rupanya
Tapi nyata ternyata hanya di kepala

Perjumpaanku dengan sebentuk bayangan
Membentangkan apa yang mereka kata
Semua yang selalu kutepis
Karena hanya aku yang mengerti rasa

Perjumpaanku dengan sebentuk bayangan
Menyisakan ilusi yang indah
Tentang mu

-my comfy litegreen-maroon room, december 10 2006-

Friday, December 8, 2006

me.. and my so-damn-sexy voice...

woke up this morning with this kinda voice.. hiks.. yeah, i've got flue.. and it's not like i don't know how i get that.. the weather's been awful lately.. very sunny and dry in the day and then non-stop heavy rain in the night.. there are so many people i know who're getting sick from this kinda weather..

for those whose voices sound just as sexy as mine.. for those who sneeze.. for those who've got red noses.. i send you my biggest simphaty.. heheheh.. GET WELL SOON!!!!

Friday, December 1, 2006

me.. on a high..

huahhhh... i'm so happy!!! finally i have internet connection in my room.. no need to spend hours in warnet again.. hihihii..

this morning, Andin, Ida, and I, went to SMUN 5 Bandung to do some research for our Media Literacy Project.. While waiting for the principal, we wandered around the school.. The building's so amazing.. with its antiquated architectures.. such as very high ceiling, huge windows and doors, etc.. my friends actually found the atmosphere's a bit creepy.. hehehe.. but since i've got huge interest in old buildings, i didn't sense anything wrong.. huahh.. i love the school.. the building.. the atmosphere..

and suddenly i miss being high school student.. i had such a great time back in high school.. made great friends also.. if only i could turn back time just for a day.. i'd come back to one of those days.. just to smile again and then freeze the memories forever..

missing my high school buddies rite now.. missing esti, pipiet, lani, shita, alfred, jack, magma, ichad, dhechan, dewi, dwita, arina, nophe, adhek, and everybody whose face and story stays inside my head.. under the big chapter of High School Memory...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

me... short posting..

It's been a while.. Lotta things happened in the past few weeks.. But here I am.. as good as new.. at the end of November (almost the end, i mean) .. So far this November's been pretty kind to me.. I've got TONS of things to be thankful and to be celebrated.. Alhamdulillah..

Anyway, people keep saying that which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger... Well, i think that's pretty much true.. Been there.. Done that.. And guess what, I'm alive.. Stronger than ever..

This is probably it for now.. I've got lotta assignments and research to do.. Post again later..

Saturday, November 11, 2006

me... leaving you for a while... =)


Jangan kirimi aku puisi
Aku jengah dengan kata
Tentang rasa
Tentang hati
Rasa yang bukan rasaku
Hati yang bukan hatiku

Jangan kirimi aku puisi
Terpejam sebelah mata
pun dapat kuraba
Rangkai bias tanpa arti

Jangan kirimi aku puisi
Imaji yang kulihat sejak melek mata
Sampai ku berkubang di dalamnya
Melekat walaupun sudah berkali-kali mandi

Kirimi aku bintang jika langit meminjamkan!!
Jangan kirimi aku puisi

-jtnangor, 9th November 2006- on my comfy litegreen-maroon room

Thursday, November 9, 2006

me... singing the same song over and over..

Couple days ago, i was at my friend’s car when he suddenly turned up the volume of the mp3 player and started to sing along.. I’d never heard the song before.. After following a line or two.. I started to laugh out loud.. It’s one of the songs from Pop Circus (the latest album from Project Pop) entitled Ngancem.. Since it’s Project Pop’s, I guess it’s supposed to be funny.. But this one, I found the lyric was so hilarious.. My friend kept repeating the song over and over.. and I just couldn’t stop laughing...

I’m posting the lyric here so you could picture it, though you’ve still got to hear the song your self... You might not find it that funny.. But I don’t know.. for me and my friend that night on the car all the way to Bandung (escaping the black out in this middle of nowhere called Jatinangor), the song was very funny.. Uhmm.. Probably because we associated it with one little story we’re kinda familliar with.. Hehehehehe.. Again, I don’t know..

Ngancem - Project Pop

kalau nanti kau jadi pacar temanku
hati-hati dengan kupingku
jika sampai ku dengar kamu selingkuh
hindari jumpa denganku

kalau nanti kau jadi pacar temanku
hati-hati dengan mataku ya
jika sampai ku lihat wajahnya murung
kupanggil orang sekampung

***aku sudah lebih dahulu coba jadi pacarnya
tapi ku ditolak melulu
cuma bisa jadi sahabatnya

kalau nanti kau jadi pacar temanku
hati-hati jaga dirinya
dia terluka
kau pasti merana

kalau nanti kau jadi pacar temanku
hati-hati dengan hidungku
jika sampai ku cium hidung belangmu
ku belahkan hidung aslimu

jika nanti temanku jadi pacarmu
hati-hati dengan matanya
kalau sampai dia nangis karna ulahmu
ku cukur sebelah alismu

jika kau bosan jadi pacar temanku
jangan coba kau buang dirinya

kembalikan dia kepadaku
kembalikan dia kepadaku
kembalikan dia kepadaku

Hmm... it still makes me laugh every single time..

Yesterday, after a very exciting class about Semiotics, I spent long hours doing the “take home” exam with my friends. And right when I felt I was about to explode, my friend Danan called (he’s the friend i’ve mentioned before at the beginning of this post__see..I write down your name on my blog.. ), he said he was bored to death and then we decided to go to Bandung.

First we thought we’d grab a fine dinner at Sierra. But half the way there, i suddenly felt like watching movie.. Hehehe.. So we went to Paris van Java, the new spot located in Sukajadi. I’d been there two times before, watching Departed and Devil Wears Prada. The place’s got Blitz Megaplex with its 9 big theaters and a very cozy atmosphere.. I really like it there..

Without considering Danan’s desire to watch Kuntilanak (hehehe.. sorry babe, you know i never like horrors), we watched The Guardian.. The story’s about United States Coast Guards, starring Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher.. Hmm.. Ashton Kutcher’s so damn pretty, huh.. (Lucky you, Demi! ) hehehe.. Overall the movie’s not bad.. We had quite a good time.. The movie finished past midnight and we both walked out the theater trying hard not to scream..HUNGRY!!!! Hehehehe.. We grabbed a bite at CabeRawit, the one in Ciumbuleuit, and then we went home.. Sleepy yet happy.. Hehehehe.. Thanks for the fine night,pal.. Hope it cheered you up..

Today was just fine... I went to an interesting discussion this afternoon, What Killed The Newspaper, it was basicly about the vanishing newspaper nowadays.. After that, i met few friends and then we went to eat.. I met somene who’s completely ruined my “just fine day”.. Someone who’s trying to cut me out of his life for a silly reason.. Hey, could you just grow up and be a man??

Enough from me.. I bet no one’s reading these craps anyway.. Da svidaniya!

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

me.. trying hard to keep my sanity..

This week’s just started.. but it’s already been a very busy one.. Tons of assignments to do.. *sigh*.. It feels like my head could explode anytime soon..

Not to mention since I’m about to resign from my work.. it’s my responsibility to train the new person who’s gonna replace me.. while doing my routines as well.. ughh.. It’s Tuesday and already I just can’t wait for Saturday night to come..

Hmm, at least being busy keeps me away from thinking about unimportant subjects.. Such as life, and how awful it’s been treating me lately.. huehehehe.. I’m not complaining.. It’s just like the new roadsign I’ve got on my car.. “LIFE ISN”T FAIR.. GET OVER IT..” I bought that solely because I thought it’d be cool.. Hope I doesn’t sound too cynical.. In fact, I do hate cynics..

Anyway, I've promised my ‘unbelievably annoying’ bestfriend (sorry for using that phrase, bro.. =p) that I will put the lyrics of these songs on my blog.. So here they are… ^_^

Five for Fighting - Superman (It's not easy)

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me.

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
fuckiing high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Friday, November 3, 2006

me... missing him...

last night i had that dream
the same dream i had when you left
i woke up trembling and frightened
that was when i realized
i could never lose you twice..
(written in a loving memory of Thomas Rasja Farrez)

I'm wondering... bisa ga yah sahabat gw itu tau apa yang gw tulisin di blog ini dari alam nya yang lain di sana.. Karena gw pengen bilang sama dia kalo gw kangennnn banget sama dia.. i know it might seem unbelievably stupid.. but here it goes..

dear Thomas,

it's been.. what.. almost 3 years now.. and that's how long i've been missing you.. gw pengen cerita2 sama lo lagi.. gw pengen becanda2 sama lo lagi.. gw pengen cela2an sama lo lagi.. gw pengen sama lo.. tadi pagi gw ngeberesin kamar gw dan ga sengaja nemu fotolo.. foto lo, gw, sama adit di DUFAN.. gw nangis.. pasti lo ngetawain gw kalo lo liat.. pasti lo ngatain gw cengeng.. tapi tetep pasti lo bakal meluk gw kalo gw nangis.. kayak dulu.. iya kan?

eh kunyuk, lo tau ga.. gw sempet marah sama lo.. knapa lo ga crita semuanya sama gw? knapa lo simpen semua itu sendiri?? knapa gw ga tau apa2 sampe semuanya udah terlambat???

tapi sekarang ironisnya, baru setelah gw ngerasain berada di posisi yang nyaris sama kayak lo dulu, gw ngerti kenapa lo ga cerita sama gw.. gw ngerti.. karena lo sayang sama gw.. karena lo selalu sayang sama gw.. iya kan?? lo ga mau bikin gw khawatir kan.. lo ga mau bikin gw takut.. karena gw terlalu sayang sama lo..

nyuk, gw sekarang sama kayak lo dulu.. dan gw pengen banget bisa crita sama lo.. karena lo pasti tau persis gimana rasanya.. gimana takutnya ga punya cukup waktu.. damn, THOMAS!!! coba lo ada di sini.. skarang..

gw ga pengen ngerasa takut.. tapi gw takut.. bangett..

hmm.. gimana rasanya di sana? bodoh ya pertanyaan gw.. hehehe.. lo main2 dong ke mimpi gw.. atau kirimin gw postcard from heaven kek kayak judul lagunya Lighthouse Family.. hehehe..

Thomas.. baik2 yah di sana.. someday we'll meet again.. gw sayang dan kangen banget sama lo..

love, nisa.

Gw berharap.. somehow, dia baca tulisan ini.. konyol emang.. tapi gw ga peduli..

Saturday, October 28, 2006

me... at the end of holiday..

Huahh... Time does fly when you're having fun.. Gak krasa banget liburan lebaran udah abis..bis..bis..! Senin lusa udah mulai kuliah lagi.. Udah mesti siap2 midtest.. Udah mesti ngadepin tugas2 lagi.. Hiks..hiks..hiks.. Padahal baru ngerasain seru2nya liburan pas di akhir2..

Hari ini... jalan sama my girlfriends back in high school dulu.. Pipiet, Lani, n Shita (harusnya tambah Esti... hehehe.. next time ya, sti..) Seru banget.. curhat2an.. ngegosip (yeah, we're girls!).. shopping (again, girls!).. Pokonya seneng lahhh..

Left to right : Lani, Shita, Me, Pipiet

Dan.. kalo udah ngumpul.. yang ga mungkin lupa ya.. photo session.. huhuhu.. Jepret.. jepret.. dari mulai pake digicam ampe pake kamera hape.. Sampe diliatin sama orang2.. Bodo amatttt!!! Huhuhuhu... Buat yang tadi sore ada di J.Co Plasa Semanggi dan enek berat sama kelakuan empat cewe aneh banci kamera yang ga tau malu... Maap yahh.. *peace!*

Besok gw balik ke Bandung (or Jatinangor to be exact =p).. Hmm.. Lotta things've been waiting for me back there.. and lotta people also.. huahuahua.. (hello kamuuu.. yg lagi nyengir2 baca postingan ini.. iye2 tenang ajah.. i'll keep my promise..)

Hmmm.. bingung euy mau nulis apa lagi yahhh... Karena gw bingung,berikut ini dengan kurang berkaitan dengan tulisan di atas, gw taro foto gw dan Shita waktu lagi jadi penerima tamu di resepsi kawinannya Wino (Lani's brother).. Gw sangat teramat gak pede dengan make up super tebel yang membuat gw merasa rada2 kayak mau mejeng di Taman Lawang.. huhuhu..

Left to right: Mas Ais, Me, Shita

Anak kecil ndut ganteng dan lucuuuu bgt yang gw gendong itu namannya Mas Ais (Lani's nephew).. Sumpah itu anak lucu bangett.. Pasti kalo udah gede bakal ganteng banget dehh (mupenk ganjen).. Kira2 kalo dia udah gede mau gak yah sama gw??? huehehehe.. Kalo dia gede?? gw udah tante2 kali yeee..

Monday, October 23, 2006

me... menyambut Idhul Fitri... =)

Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Allahhu Akbar
Allahu Akbar Walillahilham…

Subhanallah, ga berenti2 gw denger suara takbir dimana2 dari ba’da maghrib tadi.. Malem takbiran tahun ini bener2 indah banget buat gw.. Sempet2 muter2 Jakarta juga tadi sama sodara2 gw.. Nikmatin hiruk pikuknya konvoy dimana2..Pawai dimana2.. Sepintas mirip suasana malem taun baru.. Tapi bedanya, malam ini nyanyian Takbir yang berkumandang dimana2.. Subhanallah..

Udah gitu, pas gw balik ke rumah ternyata bokap udah masang obor banyak banget di halaman rumah gw.. Baguuuussss bangeeetttt.. Cahaya obor2 di malam hari plus suara takbir yang ga putus2 itu nyiptain suasana yang syahdu bangett.. I shed a tear.. Rasanya Allah begitu dekat..

Anyway.. Besok Lebaran.. Saat yang dinanti2kan stelah sebulan menahan diri dari nafsu.. Saatnya merayakan kemenangan itu.. (buat yang menaaang… hehehe..) Saatnya menikmati enaknya ketupat, sayur, opor ayam, semur, rendang, sambel goreng, dan apapun yang dimasak ibu atau istri anda di rumah..hehehe..

Mudah2an kita semua ‘terlahir’ kembali menjadi manusia yang lebih baik.. Dan semoga tahun depan kita semua masih diberi nikmat umur untuk ketemu lagi sama indahnya Ramadhan.. dan nikmatnya Lebaran.. Amin..Amin Allahuma Amin..

Ehm..ehm.. Nisa mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Idhul Fitri… Semoga amal ibadah Ramadhan kita diterima oleh Allah Subhaanahuwata’ala...

Mohon maaf yang sebesar2nya buat semua kesalahan (yang disengaja) dan kekhilafan (yang ga disengaja) gw.. Maaf buat kata2 yang menyakitkan.. Buat becandaan yang kelewatan.. Buat celaan yang menusuk hati.. Manusia ga ada yang sempurna.. Marilah kita saling memaafkan biar ga ada lagi dendam dan penyakit hati lainnya nangkring di hati kita.. hehehe..

One more thing, berhubung operator GSM tampaknya sudah mulai nge-hang.. Jadi gw ga tau apakah semua sms Lebaran yang gw kirim bener2 sampe ke setiap orang.. Buat yang belum terima sms dari gw.. Mohon maaf.. Percayalah, mungkin sms dari gw itu lagi nyasar2 nyari lokasi handphone lo.. Atau coba2 dateng ke rumah tetangga lo, pinjem hapenya, trus cek inboxnya.. mungkin sms gw nyasar kesitu.. hehehe…

Eid Mubarak, Everyone!!!!!!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

me... melawan nyamuk2 nakal..

Adalah rapuh yang menisik helai demi helai
tanyaku untuknya
Adalah sunyi yang menjadi temannya
Bukan bisu yang membuatnya
tak terkata
Bukan beku yang merubahnya
menjadi satir tanpa cela
Kemudian nelangsa mempertegas raut duka
hingga ada

(di tengah macetnya Jakartaku, 20-10-2006)

Lately kok gw lagi lumayan produktif nulis yahh.. dan karena mood untuk bikin coret2an isi kepala itu datengnya ga liat2 waktu.. benda yang paling sering jadi media temporernya ya hp..

Hmm, sekarang jadi bertanya2 sendiri apa jadinya kalo tawaran untuk nerbitin tulisan2 gw itu datangnya sekarang... bukan waktu itu di saat gw lagi di manja sama kenyamanan yang bikin rasa dan isi kepala gw jadi tumpul.. Mungkin..oh mungkin.. gw bakal jadi penulis beneran... Yahh, ternyata bener yang namanya kesempatan itu belum tentu dateng dua kali.. Masalahnya, seperti juga mood nulis gw yang kadang ga terduga kapan munculnya.. tawaran berharga juga suka dateng di saat2 yang paling tidak diharapkan.. Yasu lah yaaa..

Sedikit ga nyambung sama tulisan di atas (sedikit???), gw mau meratapi udara di Jakarta yang sekarang sumpaahhh lagi panas2nya.. Bolak-balik ganti baju yang basah sama keringat (tapi gak bau lohh..).. Bolak-balik kamar mandi buat cuci muka (walaupun bahkan airnya pun gak segerrrr!).. Rajin mandi.. ( mandi??).. Bolak-balik buka pintu kulkas buat ngadem... Hhhh.. ABCDE!!!! Aduh Bo' Capey Deee Eyke... (njrittt.. apa2an nih gw mendadak dangdut..)

Tapi terlepas dari panasnya Jakarta (iya iyaaa.. masih lebih panas Neraka kok..) .. yang lebih mengganggu adalah NYAMUKKKKK... Nyamuk banyak banget dimana2.. Sumpah nyamuknya udah kayak setann... Jangan2 gara2 selama bulan puasa katanya semua setan dibelenggu.. Setan2 itu mengutus nyamuk2 untuk ngeggantiin mereka mengganggu umat manusia di muka bumi ini... Ughhh, tidaaakkkkkk!!!!

(postingan gw makin ke bawah kok makin gak jelas yaaa...???)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

me... in the haze of the night...

Dulu gw selalu menganggap bahwa gw adalah seorang "morning person" alias lebih produktif di pagi hari .. Cukup logis juga mengingat biasanya pagi2 gw masih fresh.. Otak pun biasanya bisa kerja maksimal karena udah istirahat sejak malem sbelomnya.. Apalagi ditemenin secangkir kopi yang masih mengepul2 wangi.. nikmat.. Apa pun bisa lah gw jabanin di pagi hari..

Tapi.. ternyata sekarang gw berubah 180 derajat.. Now i'm definetely a night person.. Entah sejak kapan persisnya kebiasaan istirahat malem gw mulai terganggu.. Sedikit demi sedikit mulai jadi kebiasaan.. Sampai akhirnya.. kebiasaan itu sekarang udah jadi penyakit buat gw.. Gw ga meng-claim diri gw sebagai penderita insomnia.. Karena nyatanya gw bisa banget tidur dengan nyenyaknya persis kebo gendut yang kebanyakan makan keju (loh? kok keju? tanya kenapa...)* Cuma gw ga bisa lagi tidur di malam hari.. Paling cepet sehari-hari gw baru bisa tidur itu sekitar jam 5 pagi.. yah, ba'da sholat shubuh lah..

Sayang sekali saudara2ku... kuliah dan kerjaan gw ga mendukung pola waktu istirahat gw yang kacau itu.. Alhasil, gw sangat sering kesiangan kuliah pagi.. atau terngantuk2 waktu meeting sama orang.. Mengganggu banget.. Gw udah berkali2 nyoba ngerubah pola tidur itu.. Tapi so far, belum bisa.. Semakin gw memaksa badan gw untuk tidur lebih cepet.. Mata ini semakin bandel melek terus gak mau diajak kompromi..

Jadi.. sejauh ini yang bisa gue lakuin cuma mengoptimalkan jam tidur gw yang sangat minim itu.. dan juga mencuri2 waktu buat tidur siang kalo emang memungkinkan di sela2 kegiatan gw..

Mmm.. mungkin gw harus mempertimbangkan nyari kerjaan yang jam kerjanya malem kali yah.. Tapi berapa banyak sih kerjaan buat cw yang jam kerjanya malem dan gak berkonotasi negatif? hehehehe... Atau mungkin gw bisa coba2 ngelamar jadi satpam kali yeee.. Wish me luck!!!

*) kenapa?? biar keren aja...

Friday, October 20, 2006

me... biting the bullet...

Nyanyikan aku lagu

yang merapal perih

Sebuah ironi

dalam bahagia yang tak nyata

Bacakan aku sajakmu

yang meredam tawa

Ke dalam kebisingan jiwa

tiada habisnya

Adakah kau ditiupkan angin padaku?

Ataukah hanya kegelisahan tak berkesudahan

yang menanti untuk diakhiri?

***here i am...biting the bullet***

Thursday, October 19, 2006

me... again..

here i am.. back in to this whole blogging things.. ternyata gw memang butuh sesuatu untuk mencurahkan pikiran & prasaan gw.. and share them with the world.. terlepas dari apakah dunia mau tau apa yang gw pikirin dan gw rasain.. hehehehe.. i don't care..

hmm.. malam ini gw ngerasa sakit.. entah kapan terakhir kalinya gw ngerasa sakit seperti ini.. rasanya perih banget.. tapi yang lebih menyakitkan adalah.. gw tau ga ada yang bisa gw lakuin untuk ngilangin rasa sakit ini... karena sakit ini akibat dari perbuatan gw sendiri..

dalam ke-"putus-asa"-an gw.. tangan ini ternyata ngambil handphone.. tik..tak..tuk.. ketik sms..

-- write new
"ternyata ga enak yah sakit hati.. mending sakit maag aja deh gw.. :'( "
--message delivered

--new message
"sakit hati knapa? ada apa nis? ya emang ga enak.. tapi jgn sakit maag jg.. apalagi gara2 mnm kopi :).. lo kenapa?"

dan sms demi sms pun terkirimlah.. sampai seorang teman itu mengirimkan kata2 yang membuat nafas gw terhenti sebentar.. sedetik.. dua detik.. tiga detik... fiuhh...

"Pedih itu dihapus saja,
jangan biarkan diendap dan dirangkul di hatimu.
Hidup seperti kertas penuh isi.
kertas yang dinoktah berbagai tinta penuh warna..
Aku ingin kau hiasi kertas itu..
Agar tak tergores sesak dengan rangkai tak terbaca..."

Subhanallah gw punya teman sperti itu... dan lagi2 sms demi sms dikirim dan dibalas.. pertanyaan-pertanyaan terjawab.. dan rasa perih ini seperti ditempeli bongkahan-bongkahan es batu.. sejuk.. gak menyembuhkan memang.. tapi membuat nyaman..

Padahal ironisnya, sebelumnya belum pernah skalipun gw curhat sama dia.. hubungan kita cuma sebatas becanda-an dan saling ngegodain aja.. Gw rada takut untuk dekat sama dia.. karena seorang teman gw ini tipikal sosok yang sangat idealis dengan pemikiran2 yang rumit dan kadang nyeleneh..

Ga pernah kpikiran sama skali.. di saat gw ngerasa down sperti ini.. ternyata gw justru sms dia.. gw justru 'ngadu' sama dia.. dan ajaibnya, dia berhasil buat gw tersenyum..

seperti dua kata terakhir yang jadi penutup di sms terakhirnya malam ini

"tetap tersenyum"

Malam ini.. ternyata bukan cuma gw dikasi kesempatan lagi untuk ngerasain rasa sakit yang gw udah nyaris lupa gimana rasanya... tapi gw juga dikasi kesempatan buat menemukan persahabatan.. di saat yang sama sekali ga pernah gw bayangin sebelumnya.. Grazie!!!